My original intent here was to write about the Netflix movie which was just nominated for ten Academy Awards. I planned to write about the fact that the movie portrayed a couple who was more willing to sacrifice their marriage than to make personal sacrifices in order to save it. That was my plan, but something happened this morning that made me want to talk about another marriage that is far more encouraging.
This morning I received a phone call from my pastor informing me that one of our dear friends had suddenly passed away. She was too young and too vibrant for anyone to have expected her passing. Her name was Tracy, and she was an absolute gem. My wife and I spent time with her husband Chris this morning to share in his grief. While we were there, another friend who was also visiting remarked, “In this town, I think even the Pope’s passing would not have the effect that Tracy’s passing will have.” She was that important to her community, her church, and to her family and friends. She impacted so many lives that it is difficult to express how deeply she will be missed.
Tracy and Chris were part of a group of fellow believers who met with my wife and I every first Friday of the month for years. We shared a meal, prayed together, and studied
God’s Word. It occurred to me during one of our gatherings that of the four couples who regularly attended our group, that all of us were uniquely bonded to our marriage partners. The bonding seemed so unique to me, that it was virtually impossible to visualize any of us with a different spouse. I commented on it at the time, and it has come back to me today in such a way as to cement in my mind that the marriage bond is more than just a connection or a commitment to each other. It seems to me that the best definition of a marriage is the creation of a new entity. It is almost a personification of the integral parts of the individuals involved. It is as if, for instance, that Chris and Tracy was a being created by the essence of Chris and Tracy individually. I know that sounds like some kind of spiritual mumbo jumbo, but I am describing it in the best way I can to reflect what I see.
When a marriage is experienced in a way that honors God, it becomes unbreakable. In the movie I mentioned, the couple obviously loved each other, shared common interests, and were connected through their ideology. The fact that they were willing to sacrifice their marriage rather than making the personal sacrifices necessary to save it, is a testimony to he fact that the Mr. and Mrs. identity did not fully exist. There was no unbreakable bond that existed to make it a living entity. Chris and Tracy were so connected that it was rare that anyone ever talked about one with also putting their names together. “Will Chris and Tracy be there?” “What do Chris and Tracy think?” “Let’s get together with Chris and Tracy.” Their connection was so deep that even small disagreements emotionally affected them. Love letters or notes expressing their apologies, their regrets, and their plans to make things right were not uncommon. Any sacrifice necessary to make amends was not out of the question. Words used to describe their relationship, like love, commitment, bonding, or even marriage, are not strong enough to describe what held them together. It was that they had entered into a relationship directed and sanctioned by God that had become something of extreme value. An entity that will forever be known as Chris and Tracy.
Tracy will be greatly missed, and we will all grieve every time we are in a place where we would commonly see her. We will also continue to recall all of the indelible memories we have of her and we will smile, laugh, and cry when those memories surface. She is with her Heavenly Father right now in absolute joy and wonderment. We will miss her, but we will see her again. Pray for Chris, he is missing her tremendously.
Shelby The Elder 